Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.

Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so."
In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty.
"I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin agrees."
In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, muttering, "Who the hell is Bill Clinton"

"I have had enough.  This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more.  I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and has blown up in my face. This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best.  I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. will meet this challenge the only way I know how ... head on.  I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done.  I will work nonstop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair.  I will not be stained by it. "  Thank you,  Monica Lewinsky

 But a homely blond troll,
With tapes we must hear.
With a K-mart bought blazer,
And a frizzy 'do
And a tale to be told-
To me and to you.

 On the chair! On the carpet!
On the President's desk!
With a chubby young intern,
With big hair and a big chest,
The Prez had been careless,
Indeed, dumb and dumber,
Now the whole world knew Bubba
Had gotten a hummer
And Monica Lewinsky
Emerged from the rubble,
 Oh, if she'd just kept her mouth shut,
 We'd not have this trouble.

  And thus set in motion
 A whole web o' spiders,
With pundits galore,
And "White House insiders."

 You ask, "Who would care
About Bill and his penis?"
  Republican Ken Starr,
And he's armed with subpoenas!

  More rapid than eagles,
Process servers, they flew!
"Here's one for your mother,
Your rabbi and you, too!"
"Now Jordan! Now Currie!

  Is there anyone else!?
Let's subpoena the lawyers!
And Bubba himself!!!"
 "We want you to tell us
About Bills' privates' life,
And all those he sleeps with,
EXCEPT, of course, his poor wife."
And many months later,
After long we've all suffered,
Let's examine more closely
Just what Starr's uncovered.
 We've learned "Little Bill"
Has a mind of his own,
And-horror of horrors-
He likes to get blown!

A funny fact surfaced,
After 40 million bucks:
Seems people don't care
Just who Clinton f__ks.

The economy is great,
And shows no sign of slowing.
Hell, we hope Monica
keeps on a' blowing!

Has the public's grown weary
Of this sleaze which offends?
And hope to get back
To "E.R" and "Friends"?

So... Monica and Linda,
And Ken Starr, and Bill too,
Get the hell off my TV
Your time is all through!

James McDougal - Clinton's convicted White water partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr's investigation.

Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.

Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head,  ruled a suicide.

Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman.   Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death Brown was being
investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.

C. Victor Raiser II - & - Montgomery Raiser Major players in the Clinton fund raising organization died in a private plane crash in July 1992.

Paul Tulley - Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992. Described by Clinton as a "Dear friend and trusted advisor".

Ed Willey - Clinton fund raiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods in Virginia of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide.  Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events.

Jerry Parks - Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little Rock.  Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park's son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton.  He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house.

James Bunch - Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a "Black Book" of people containing names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas.

James Wilson - Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide.  He was reported to have ties to Whitewater.

Kathy Ferguson - Ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson died in May
 1994 was found dead in her living room with a gunshot to her head.  It was ruled a suicide even though there were several packed suitcases,  as if she was going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a codefendant along with Bill Clinton in  the Paula Jones lawsuit.  Kathy Ferguson was a possible
corroborating witness for Paula Jones.

 Bill Shelton - Arkansas state trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead in June, 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the grave site of his fiancee.

Gandy Baugh - Attorney for Clinton friend Dan Lassater died by jumping out a  window of a tall building January, 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor.

Florence Martin - Accountant subcontractor for the CIA related to the Barry Seal Mean Airport drug smuggling case. Died of three gunshot wounds. Suzanne Coleman - Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head,  ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death.

Paula Grober - Clinton's speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one car accident.

Danny Casolaro - Investigative reporter. Investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparent suicide in the middle of his investigation.

P aul Wilcher - Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 "October Surprise" was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet Reno 3 weeks before his death.

Jon Parnell Walker - Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August 15, 1993. Was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal.

Barbara Wise - Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996.  Her bruised  nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce.

Charles Meissner - Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash.

Dr. Stanley Heard - Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash.  Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton's advisory council personally treated Clinton's mother, stepfather and brother.

 Barry Seal - Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas.  Death was no accident.

Johnny Lawhorn Jr. - Mechanic, found a check made out to Clinton in the trunk of a car left in his repair shop. Died when his car hit a utility pole.

Stanley Huggins - Suicide.  Investigated Madison Guarantee. His report was never released.

Hershell Friday - Attorney and Clinton fund raiser died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded.

Kevin Ives & Don Henry - Known as "The boys on the track" case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena, Arkansas airport drug operation. Controversial case where initial report of death was due to falling asleep on railroad track. Later reports claim the 2 boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks.

 Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury.

 THE FOLLOWING SIX PERSONS HAD INFORMATION ON THE IVES/HENRY CASE:

 Keith Coney - Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a truck July, 1988.
 Keith McMaskle - Died stabbed 113 times, Nov, 1988
 Gregory Collins - Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.
 Jeff Rhodes - He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April, 1989.
 James Milan - Found decapitated. Coroner ruled death due to natural causes.
 Jordan Kettleson - Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990.
 Richard Winters - Was a suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. Was killed in a setup robbery July 1989.

 THE FOLLOWING CLINTON BODYGUARDS ARE DEAD:
                 Major William S. Barkley Jr.
                 Captain Scott J. Reynolds
                 Sgt. Brian Hanley
                 Sgt. Tim Sabel
                 Major General William Robertson
                 Col. William Densberger
                 Col. Robert Kelly
                 Spec. Gary Rhodes
                 Steve Willis
                 Robert Williams
                 Conway LeBleu
                 Todd McKeehan