|Bill Gates/Microsoft Jokes|
|All Topics||Bill's New House||Bill talks with God||Computer Terms||Novelties|
|The Night before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken
Which has now been re-routed to
After centuries of a life that was
simple and spare,
No more dolls or tin soldiers or
little toy drums
More rapid than eagles the competitors
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the
kids can't resist,
Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I
in my cap,
And there on the screen was a smiling
|Bill's New House
Now that Bill Gates is moving into his new house, the following is a conversation heard last week.
Bill: "There are a few issues we
need to discuss."
|Bill Talks with
Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner God told them "I need three important figures to send my message out to all people. Tomorrow I will
destroy the earth".
Yeltsin immediately called together
his cabinet and told them "I have two really bad news items for you:
Clinton called an Emergency meeting
of the Senate and Congress and told them "I have Good news and Bad News:
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft
and happily announced "I have two fantastic announcements:
|Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk.
Byte - What your pitbull dun to cusin Jethro.
Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps.
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.
Diskette - Female Disco dancer.
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers.
Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high.
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.
Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.
ROM - Where the pope lives.
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast.
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.
|Pie Gates-Download and have fun throwing pies at Bill Gates|
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